weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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