We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
