Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize