Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
