my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
