You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
