i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
