Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A bitchslap is in order.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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