that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize