even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
