Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
