remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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