ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
