thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
