I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
