I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
