VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
