How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
