You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
