problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
