its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Enjoy the penises
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
