You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
