Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize