Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
