a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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