are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
