I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
