I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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