She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
