i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
