turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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