Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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