im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
