There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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