There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
tell me about the eggs
Randomize