dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize