I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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