As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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