I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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