I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm like, not good at living.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
