Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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