I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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