I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
