i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My balls are so social today.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
