eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
