im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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