Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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