so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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