what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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