think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
