If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
