he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
