You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
