Who did Billy Mays play for?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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