Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
