Tell her she can't have a vagina
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
