All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
